Home For The Holidays: Avoid Aging Parents Becoming A Burden
by Linda LaPointe
By not planning for the future we guarantee that we will leave our children with a tremendous burden. Just about the time they are preparing for their own retirement and their children's college education, adult children often are overwhelmed with decision-making for their aging parents.
As a long term care administrator I heard it daily, “I don’t want to be a burden to my children.” But unintentionally most of us make it even harder for our children by not clearly defining our wishes or preferences. We can help them out by asserting control over our future health care, residential choices, and even how we will die. There are specific and discrete steps we can take to shape our own destiny. Many of these tasks only take a few moments of your time, some take a little research and others may require professional assistance. None of them are extremely costly or difficult.
So why don't more of us do this type of planning? Seniors are concerned about losing control of their life and being a burden to their grown children but many just don't know what to do. For instance, the majority of people want to die at home, but very few do. Become familiar with your options and make your preferences known while thinking clearly, while free from pain and prior to an emergency or crisis.
The loss of a parent is difficult enough for an adult child. We can save them additional grief by doing the following,
- clean house: get rid of all the worthless clutter and unimportant stuff
- prepare and organize those important papers and throw out the unimportant ones
- prepare advance directives and tell others what they contain and where they are located
- make our own funeral plans and ensure there are sufficient funds to pay for it
- leave our legacy through writings, photo albums, heirloom assignment and recording of family stories
You can avoid becoming a burden to your children by taking control of your end of life with as much care, intent and forethought as you have lived the rest of your life.
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About The Author
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters coach and author of several products to assist families experiencing aging including the pamphlet, Don’t Be a Burden: 100 Tips. Get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com.
sospueblo@yahoo.com
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New Year’s Resolution — Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?
by Melissa J. A. Carey
It’s time once again for the dreaded New Year’s Resolutions. Most of us make them; few of us keep them for more than a few months. New Year’s resolutions range anywhere from loosing weight to being more organized to finishing your education and the list goes on. But, have you ever thought about resolving to get your life back? “What does this mean?” you ask.
Getting your life back means taking control of your life—Making deliberate choices about how you spend your time, so that you can have a balanced lifestyle. If you often feel stressed or hurried, this may be a good sign that you need some help with managing your lifestyle. A balanced lifestyle means having the time to choose doing the things you enjoy, rather than the things that you 
New Year’s Resolution — Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?
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Home For The Holidays: Is it Time for That Talk?
by Linda LaPointe
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents get the washer & dryer moved from the basement to a bedroom on the first floor after her mom missed the last step & broke her toe. Annie reassured them that she would make sure they would stay in their own home no matter what. Before she knew it she was fixing every supper for them at their home, taking care of the yard and cleaning the house on the weekend.
Then, Annie started to receive calls during the day at work. Mom had an accident with the car or Dad couldn't get out of the bathtub. She hired a home care aide during weekdays after she talked them into selling the car & accepting help for cleaning and cooking. Annie continued to promise her parents that they would live in their home f Home For The Holidays: Is it Time for That Talk?
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The Christmas Dress
by LeAnn R. Ralph
(From the book: Christmas in Dairyland — True Stories from a Wisconsin Farm; August 2003; trade paperback; http://ruralroute2.com)
From the time I was a very little girl, I had always loved to watch my big sister, Loretta, when she was sewing. So, one Sunday afternoon while she worked on the red velveteen jumper that was going to be my Christmas outfit, I didn’t want to miss a single thing.
Because it was Sunday and Loretta did not have to go to work at the electric company, she was dressed casually in a white sweater and a pair of periwinkle blue slacks that matched her eyes. Loretta was an assistant bookkeeper at the electric cooperative that supplied electricity to our farm and to many The Christmas Dress
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Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions
by Linda LaPointe
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her parents. What started out as monthly grocery shopping for them, over the course of 2 years became a full time duty, an overwhelming burden and just about broke her emotionally and financially.
They say that it’s good that primary caregivers don’t know what to expect or they would not enter into the situation. That is only true if they aren’t honest with themselves and with others, don’t research the many options and review the abundant material now available to families. Not everyone can take on the responsibility for any number of reasons. So potential caregivers of aging parents should ask themselves the following questions as the need for care and assistance begins to grow:
Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions
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