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Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation

by Linda LaPointe

Annie waited too long to have that talk with her parents. It was too late to have it now as they were both beyond comprehending the seriousness of their situation. As a result, she had to break the bad news to a long lost brother, and deal with her resistant parents who had convinced themselves that they were independent in their own home, while she had to make some very difficult decisions for them.

It’s never too soon to begin the discussion of aging. But if you have put it off, ease into that conversation as soon as the first, what may seem minor event occurs which indicate a loved one’s independence may be in jeopardy. Since it is difficult to begin such a talk, here are some suggestions which may help:

  • use another family’s situation or news story as an example or starting point.
  • cut out an article or an ad as a reference point.
  • ask questions at a family gathering, but keep it light.
  • plan a family meeting with the agenda known by all beforehand.

Starting the conversation with “I” statements ensure that you will not sound accusatory and lets your feelings come through. For example:

  • I am worried…
  • I feel…
  • I am concerned…
  • I have noticed…

Engage in a conversation, taking turns, instead of talking at others. Use questions:

  • What things concern you?
  • What do you want to do about…
  • What do you want to do when…

Conveying love and concern is important. Sometimes an outside person can have more influence than those in the immediate family. Be patient. If the first attempt doesn’t go well, keep your sense of humor and try again at a later time.

About The Author

Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters coach and author of several products to assist families experiencing aging including the pamphlet, Don’t Be a Burden: 100 Tips. Get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com.
sospueblo@yahoo.com




The Thanksgiving Blessing

by LeAnn R. Ralph

“Wouldn’t you just know it,” muttered my husband, Randy.

We had already been driving for a couple of hours in a pickup truck that we had borrowed from a friend, and now it was completely dark.

“What’s wrong?” I asked sleepily. I had dozed off only a few minutes ago.

“It’s starting to rain,” Randy replied, as he reached over to turn on the windshield wipers.

Rain? In a few seconds, I came fully awake. If it was raining, that meant Mom and Dad’s furniture was getting wet.

So far, it had been my worst Thanksgiving ever. Dad had passed away a month ago. My mother had died seven years earlier. When I was a kid, we always celebrated Thanksgiving at home. All four of my grandparents had died before I was born, and to me, Thanksgivi The Thanksgiving Blessing Recipe

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Ghost Stories

by LeAnn R. Ralph

When I started teaching English at Northwestern Military and Naval Academy near Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, nobody warned me about the ghosts.

Northwestern — a beautiful, old granite building — was a boarding school. A hundred boys lived there, ranging in age from seventh grade through twelfth, although the building could have accommodated maybe twice as many. The school had been in existence for about a century. The hallway leading to the gymnasium was lined with photographs of all the graduating classes

The entrance to the school featured two wrought iron gates and a long driveway that wound through the extensive grounds. Trees, flowers and shrubs added to the park-like atmosphere.

Northwestern was both a military and a naval academy, a Ghost Stories Recipe

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New Year’s Resolution — Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?

by Melissa J. A. Carey

It’s time once again for the dreaded New Year’s Resolutions. Most of us make them; few of us keep them for more than a few months. New Year’s resolutions range anywhere from loosing weight to being more organized to finishing your education and the list goes on. But, have you ever thought about resolving to get your life back? “What does this mean?” you ask.

Getting your life back means taking control of your life—Making deliberate choices about how you spend your time, so that you can have a balanced lifestyle. If you often feel stressed or hurried, this may be a good sign that you need some help with managing your lifestyle. A balanced lifestyle means having the time to choose doing the things you enjoy, rather than the things that you New Year’s Resolution — Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life? Recipe

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Home For The Holidays: Visiting Aging Parents

by Linda LaPointe

Joanne returned home after not seeing her parents for about 6 months. She found her dad is not doing nearly as well as he has been leading her to believe. Their weekly conversations were centered on talking about Joanne’s mom who had been ailing. Her dad had kept up the façade that he was taking great care of her and all was well.

She found out differently. The house was a mess and had not been cleaned well in some time and needed quite a bit of maintenance as things were starting to fall apart. Bottles of pills were outdated indicating they hadn’t been taking them as prescribed. The refrigerator was almost empty of nourishing food. She felt guilty, why hadn’t she seen it before, seen it coming, read between the lines?

But the truth is Home For The Holidays: Visiting Aging Parents Recipe

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