by Marina Smiley
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner not only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they can share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears.
In marriage we are looking for a partner who will be able to understand our values, our likes and dislikes.
If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country, most likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies, jokes, books and life in general. They basically have the same roots. In the case of a western man -foreign woman family everything is more complicated and requires much more patience and understanding from both spouses.
On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn a great deal about the other’s country, culture, traditions and life styles which can be very interesting.
On the other hand it can be very disappointing, the inability to understand your partner’s excitements and, or frustrations. For example, say you are watching the television and suddenly you see a famous actor or singer, or other type of an artist whose name you have grown up with. Maybe this artist was an idol for your parents and the music of this artist was often played in your house when you were a child.
Now seeing this singer on television reminded you about your parents and house where you grew up in . You nostalgically remembered the tree that you saw from your window. You feel very light headed about this memory and want to share this feeling with your foreign wife.
Unfortunately you realize that she is unable to understand your feelings because she has no idea who this artist is. Her eyes are absolutely empty, she has never even heard the song before. You cannot believe it !
You tell her that this artist is so famous! Everyone knows him! How it possible that she doesn't know???
Your light feelings of nostalgic disappear and instead you feel within your soul at very large disappointment ...
Be patient! Don’t become upset so quickly.
Remember that your wife has the same situation with you. You don t know her country’s songs, her country's famous actors, her books. She has her own memories and in actuality, for her, everything is much more difficult than it is for you. At least, you live in your own country where everybody can understand you. She lives in completely strange surroundings, where she has nobody to share her feelings with, except you.
Do some research and learn about your wife's country, culture and lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions, get to know what songs she likes, what movies and books are of interest to her. The Internet will give you a great opportunity to find anything! Tell her about your country's culture, let her listen to the music that you like, rent a movie for her that left you with great impression. Let her understand you better through the things that you like.
Patience and time will help you to fight cultural differences .
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