by Chris Simeral
It’s safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day – the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night – the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful. It is a time that you will remember forever, exactly as it felt: a sublime, dreamlike fantastical moment, when everyone significant to you is watching as you join in wedlock with the most important individual in your life.
Conquering Your Fears
Since this is such a unique and central moment to your romantic life, you’re probably wondering how it is that you’ll make the experience better than that 10th grade public-speaking assignment where you blanked out halfway through and fainted in front of all of your peers. Begin by telling yourself that it is perfectly natural to feel nervous when speaking in public. Moreover, not everyone is born with perfect public-speaking skills that accurately demonstrate what they feel in their hearts. However, fortunately for the majority of us, these things can be learned.
Of course, being well-prepared and armed with wedding vows you know are the absolute best they could possibly be is one of the easiest ways to overcome these fears. How do I know? Because the home-study course I put together, The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, has helped hundreds of couples take the fear out of their wedding ceremony by giving them the tools they need to write truly amazing wedding vows. You can find out more about the kit at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.
But beyond that, when you think logically about each of these fears, you’ll realize there is nothing that cannot be overcome with a bit of care, technique, and practice. Let’s take a realistic look at these five incredibly common worries. In a few minutes, you’ll see that none of them are likely to spoil your ceremony.
Common Fear #1: Freezing Up
This is a direct result of being excessively nervous. Therefore, it’s important to come up with some calming techniques that will help you to keep cool. It’s only natural to be a bit nervous. In fact, the added rush from being a little on the anxious side can actually help you to speak better and with added feeling. The best technique that you can give yourself is breathing. Most often, when we are overly frightened, we either breathe much too quickly or we hold our breath. Therefore, as you’re keeping yourself calm, concentrate on breathing smoothly, neither too fast or too slow, but regularly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practice a few times in advance, especially in other situations that you’ve found a bit stressful in the past. You’ll be surprised at what an enormous difference something as simple as breathing can do for you.
Common Fear #2: Going Blank
This is another trick played by your overly-nervous brain. To stop yourself from becoming so nervous that you go blank, or even to remove any fear that you may go blank, bring a “backup” copy of your wedding vows on cue cards that you can slip into your pocket. Make sure they are very crisp and neat looking so that you won’t hesitate to use them if you have to, and write clearly on them so that you won’t get stuck due to sloppiness.
Common Fear #3: Blushing, Dry Mouth, and Shaking.
These are extremely common physical responses to being nervous and having to perform in front of others. However, even if they do begin to occur, you can bring yourself to a calmer state where these physical symptoms will begin to fade. Try to ignore blushing and shaking as much as possible and just concentrate on your vows and how much you love the person to whom you are making those vows. With regards to dry mouth, drink lots of water beforehand, and try not to think about it. As long as you concentrate on what you’re doing, instead of the fact that you are blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth, they will actually begin to resolve themselves quite quickly.
Common Fear #4: Having Someone Heckle
This is a common fear, but it simply doesn’t happen at weddings. Remind yourself that everyone there with you is hoping the very best for you and your future spouse. They are all nervous right along with you and wouldn’t dream of saying anything but best wishes for your future together. The closest they will come to “heckling” is sending a mental prayer to provide you the strength and the courage to continue so that you may enjoy long and happy lives together.
Common Fear #5: Being Judged
The people attending your wedding are all people who know you, like or love you, and who wish you the very best. They know how much adrenaline is running through your system as you say your wedding vows, and wouldn’t judge you at a time like that; except to think about how well suited you are to the love of your life.
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