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In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It

by Rev. James L. Snyder

Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise.

I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all through my house. "If it's broken, I bought it." This is not to say everything in my house is broken, but to point out that everything has a breaking point. And, it's not to say I can't fix anything. I just can't fix anything that is broken.

A case in point; my easy chair.

A man's easy chair, especially mine, is control central of his world. My easy chair is so situated that I can easily access my entire world. Whoever invented the easy chair must have been a genius, at least in my book.

To the left of my easy chair is a small stand with a light. On this stand rest various works in progress. I will admit some are in slow progress, but that's the way I like it. I can reach into this pile, pull out some work and spend a little time on it. Also on this stand is a well-stocked container of pens and pencils.

Someone in our house, and I will not mention any names, has suggested getting rid of this pile. There are times, and this is one of them, I do not pay attention to certain suggestions.

To the right of my easy chair are various items. I have the telephone, the remote control and a variety of reference books, all within easy reach.

At the foot of my easy chair leans a small notebook computer.

As you can see, my easy chair pulls my world together in a harmony of delightful reach-ability.

Recently, a situation developed with my easy chair. Last week as I sat in it, working on my computer, catching up with some work projects, I heard a funny sound.

B-O-I-N-G!

I could not place the sound, so I ignored it. It's the manly thing to do. Whenever something happens I don't understand, I resort to the old ignoring routine. Sometimes it's the only thing that really works. Then I heard the sound again.

B-O-I-N-G!

This time the sound was much louder but before I could really do anything about it, I heard the sound for the third time.

B-O-I-N-G!

Suddenly, my easy chair quivered. Then everything collapsed, and as I went free- falling, my whole life passed before my eyes. Fortunately, as it turned out, it was not my life but everything on my stand flipped in the air and came showering down on top of me. Papers, books, the remote control and millions of pens and pencils smothered me in a heap of confusion.

For a brief moment, I did not know what happened, or where I was.

The only redeeming aspect of this incident was the simple fact that the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was not home at the time. I say "simple fact," but the truth of the matter is it is much more complicated.

My first job was to extricate myself from the mess. Secondly, I had to pick up everything before my wife got home.

As it turned out, that was the easier part of my job. The most difficult, and I admit it, was trying to fix my easy chair. It turned out to be broken in places that completely and absolutely confounded me.

Several months before this my wife insisted I throw out this antiquated easy chair and get a new one. Looking back now I see it was a foolish thing to do n but then I laughed at her and told her in no uncertain terms that this easy chair was in perfect condition. She just looked at me, shook her head and walked away.

With panic as incentive, I gathered up the pieces of what used to be my easy chair and tried to figure how to put it all back together. I went to the garage, got some tools, a roll of wire and several rolls of duct tape. Working at the speed of a husband in trouble I managed to put the chair back in what I thought was good shape.

Sighing a sigh of relief, I carefully tested out the chair. Much to my pleasure and delight, it cradled me as afore. Leaning back in my chair, I could not believe I had pulled one over on my Better Half. Nothing matches an easy chair properly broken in.

Later that evening my wife and I were sitting together watching television. Out of the blue, she brought up the subject of my chair. "Don't you think," she reflected in one of those wifely moods, "you should replace that old chair of yours?"

"Ha!" I said with the confidence of a fox who got away with a plump chicken. "This chair has a few more good years left in it."

Just then I heard a familiar sound.

B-O-I-N-G!

Everything collapsed, and as I went free falling my whole life passed before my eyes. Looking up into the smiling eyes of my wife, she simply said, "My, how time flies."

The whole incident reminded me of a verse in the Bible. "Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:12-13 KJV.)

About The Author

Rev. Jams L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife Martha. Snyder has published nine books.

jamessnyder2@att.net




The Benefits of Reading

by LeAnn R. Ralph

Did you know that reading can keep your mind active and engaged well into old age?

Several years ago when I was working as a newspaper reporter, I interviewed a woman who was a resident at a local nursing home. She was 100 years old. And she read at least one book per week. Mostly novels. She was bright, intelligent and fun to talk with.

"I love to read. It helps me keep up with what's going on in the world," she said. "A friend of mine brings me a new book every week. I look forward to her visits and I look forward to the books. We talk about the books we've read."

Reading has other benefits, as well.

For one thing, reading a good story can help you forget some of the problems in your own life.

"I can't get around much anymo The Benefits of Reading Recipe

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Price Book 101

by Amy Allen Clark

Several months ago, I thought I knew it all on how to save money when grocery shopping. I have found, however, that there is always more to learn as months later I am beginning to address this topic again. I know I am not the only one who thinks that we are playing a game when we go to the grocery store. Educated consumers walk away with loads of goodies for minimal money and others of us fork over the big bucks for the same exact thing. What sets one shopper apart from another? How do you beat the grocery game? Is it really all about coupons and rebates?

Let’s begin by discussing the fliers that you receive in your mailbox each week which outline the stores deals and steals for that week’s particular campaign. These items are calle Price Book 101 Recipe

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No Dogs or Cats Allowed!

by Dan The Roommate Man

The lease says specifically that no dogs or cats are allowed in your apartment... but the animal kingdom has lots of choices, including one which may be acceptable to landlords and other owners.

Face it, animal lovers can find it difficult to live without a faithful companion. Don't think that dogs and cats are your only options for pets. Many apartment complexes do allow some caged animals. There are many small, apartment friendly pets that will provide you with just as much love as any dog or cat, including:

Birds. If you purchase a parrot or myna bird, you'll need to purchase ear plugs as well because they are incredibly loud creatures. In a small space, the screeching will echo, and it's just not a good idea. Canaries No Dogs or Cats Allowed! Recipe

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Writing Your Life Stories

by LeAnn R. Ralph

Remember the time that you got into 'big trouble' when you were a kid because. . .?

Or what about the time that your little sister. . .?

Or how about the time that your mom was making. . .and burned the. . .?

You probably have hundreds of these stories tucked away in your memory. Perhaps you've even thought that someday you would like to write about them. There's only one problem. "I don't know where to start — I wouldn't know what to write," you think to yourself.

One simple technique that will help you recall those stories and put them into written form is called "clustering," which is featured in a book titled Writing the Natural Way by Gabriele Lusser Rico (copyright 1983; J.P. Tarcher, Inc.)

Whether you are aiming for pub Writing Your Life Stories Recipe

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